As we walked out of the hotel in Xiamen on Sunday around noon, I looked at Lydia and said “I give myself 30 seconds before I start sweating.” She glanced at me and said “Too late, you already are.”
Yes, dear readers, I fall in the accursed category of having an embarrassing physical feature that no one is rude enough to point out, but in their minds they think “ewwww.” I have an oversupply of sweat glands, which I’ve heard is actually quite healthy. Whoever said that must never have experienced the joy of literally peeling off his shirt from his torso, then hopping into a nice long shower to cleanse his body, and then stepping out of the bathroom only to immediately start sweating again.
That is my life. I’m glad that women are the (allegedly) less superficial gender, however, and they can look past that brightly lit sheen on my forehead and see the vapid, superficial dude nesting inside. Even so, if the spirits above were to grant me one chance to change something physical about me, I’d most likely choose to make my body as sweat-free as possible. Either that, or decrease the massive size of my…(sorry, coughing fit).
In all seriousness, though, sweat is a byproduct of the human body emitting too much heat. I am indeed a very, very hot guy. I like to think that my heart sometimes beats too fast, and that the extra for of the blood rushing through my veins causes my body temperature to rise. Having a heart that can get excited and moved like that, resulting in hands that are always warm to touch…there’s something pretty goddamn nice about it.
Then again, maybe I have a defective heart and I’ll die any minute now. In a pool of my own sweat. Which, on many an instance during the past weekend in Xiamen, I definitely wanted to do.
Check out the photos section for updated pics of our weekend getaway. Xiamen is a nice place to check out…when it’s not as humid as a moldy sock buried in the Amazon jungle.
