Last week I flew from San Jose up to the Portland area for a two day meeting with the rest of the finance team. The morning of the first meeting, I woke up to use the bathroom, and on my way back I jammed my right big toe into the large suitcase I had foolishly left in front of the bed. I hopped up and down in pain, waiting in the dark for it to subside so I could go back to sleep. I reached down cautiously to make sure I hadn’t cut myself or anything, which is when I felt the toenail flap up and down against my finger.
FRACK!
I spent the next hour or so scrambling online for a home remedy for taking care of an essential toe whose nail had nearly been detached. The last thing I wanted to do was to go see a doctor; cheap-ass that I am, I had skimped on paying a premium on my health insurance package for the international coverage. Years of working for a large corporation abroad had absolved me from the anxieties and fears held by many Americans about the rising cost of healthcare in the U.S.. I had read about this at an extreme arm’s length, separated by thousands of miles and the relative health and lack of responsibility incurred in my own life. And how, here I was, face to face with this economic reality all because of a stupid toenail accident.
By the next day, I was limping at a snail’s pace in the office from room to room and avoiding trips to the bathroom because the walk was too slow and painful. Word had gotten to the rest of my co-workers too, and Nikki was scolding me for not taking advantage of being in “mature market” and visiting a healthcare professional who could at the very least instill a sense of confidence in me. Referencing the vacation I was about to take after the meeting, she said “You’d rather get it treated in Vietnam than here?” I concluded that she was right, sucked it up and drove down to a medical center, where my uncovered ass will now be paying a few hundred dollars for about 5 minutes of a doctor’s poking at the nail, 5 minutes of the nurse bandaging it up, a bottle of antibiotics, and a tetanus shot.
Whether the mental relief that came with this visit is worth the financial cost is debatable. What is without argument is the level of stress that exists now right below the surface of my brain that didn’t exist before. Shit, I now have to worry about paying for health insurance! For now, it’s OK, but what about if I leave my company? What if I start a family and have to be responsible for more than just myself? This pressure, this fear that paralyzes the minds of so many millions of people, had now implanted itself in me for the first time in my life. Like a fucking bucket of ice-cold water doused on the remaining embers of youthful, carefree Shanghai living, this bitter taste of “growing up” totally sucks. Almost more than dragging two suitcases through three international airports in the span of 28 hours to get from Portland to Shenzhen on one ghastly infected big toe. Almost.
see…now don’t you wish i get my masters quicker so i can fix this crazy ass health care system we have
[...] Unfortunately, my other teammates were pretty good players. Even Jamie was excellent. Prior to Saturday the only balls I could imagine him playing with were his own. Balls of angst, that is (you perverts). I say unfortunately because this meant that we kept playing and playing and playing. Which meant I had to keep waving my arms and occasionally setting a few picks. It was on one of these picks that someone stepped on my big toe, and the nail that had hung so precariously by a thread of flesh for three weeks finally popped out. [...]