Cityweekend has good intentions for its advertisers!

I know Cityweekend is not exactly the bastion of wonderful journalism here, but it was still funny to read a recent article titled “10 Ways to Detox the Body in Shanghai,” which packaged a list of some no-brainer health tips in some not-so-subtle whore-wrap. Some particularly egregious product placement snippets:

Watch what you eat: Eat plenty of fiber, including brown rice and organically-grown fresh fruits and vegetables. It’s hard to eat healthily when out. M on the Bund has a super healthy and super tasty lunch set menu at the moment. For RMB 98 you get a fresh organic carrot and ginger juice, healthy arugula salad, poached chicken with walnuts and a dessert of fresh pineapple and mint. Eating healthy has never been more decadent.

De-stress: Eliminate stress from your life by emphasizing positive emotions. Positive emotions seem to come about more easily when your feeling good about yourself. Treat yourself to a day of pampering at Quan Spa. Let the friendly staff work their magic hands and be transformed from a state of stress to a state of bliss.

And my personal favorite:

Drink more water: Drink at least eight glasses of water daily to help flush out toxins in the body. Beijing based Dr. Melissa Rodriguez says that drinking fluids such as water and tea is one of the easiest ways to detoxify the body. Don’t just drink any water, jump online and order some “premium water” from vosswater.com.

Yes, that’s right folks, don’t just drink ANY water, drink insanely overpriced Voss water, or else you won’t be able to counter those toxins! I had no idea that in all those years of drinking non-premium water, I was forgoing a chance to really cleanse my body. Lunching at M on Bund, taking yoga classes, drinking orange juice at Element fresh, ordering Voss water and supplements online — with all that action and money, who has any time to go drinking?