Ok, dear reader, I am about to tell you a story that will start sounding very inane and inconsequential, but I promise that it will morph into a potential saga that will keep you riveted for many posts to come.
Ok, so I’m full of shit, but I need a sounding board, so who cares.
Loyal sushipanda followers will remember that I lost a beloved black Banana Republic jacket a few weeks ago at Guandii. I’ve been on the prowl ever since, looking for a suitable replacement. After dragging a few coworkers to Gang Hui last Thursday, one of them kept a watchful eye while shopping with her boyfriend over the weekend, and pointed me towards the “4 You” boutique in the Shanxi Road Parkson, where she said I could get a decent replacement for about 1100 RMB.
Translation for all of you non-Shanghai-ers: I’m a total loser.
Anyway, since I’m so massive compared to everyone else in this two-bit town, the boutique didn’t have my size, so I wandered around the store unsatiated and disappointed. Finally, I identified a suitable replacement that, from a distance, seemed to echo the energy that the forever-lost jacket essayed. And, blinded by the 730 RMB price tag, I made an impulse and walked out into the polluted Shanghai evening air, simultaneously relieved that I had made a purchase while disappointed that I had to settle for something so inferior.
Since I had some more time to kill before dinner with Mike, I subwayed over to Huangpi road, where I knew a UNIQGLO existed. I had read an interesting article about how they were trying the cut the legs out of GAP back in the US, and thought it might be worth checking out. Instinctively, I gravitated towards the coat and jacket section, and gasped as I saw a 90% authentic replica (oxymoron watchers, on guard) tantalizingly reachable on the rack. I brushed the coats aside, looking for a price, and the stumbled back in horror as I saw the tab: 299 RMB.
The cruel and dark fates had had their laugh. I called several local friends, some who told me that there was no way I could return the first coat I bought, others who said I had nothing to worry about. In any case, I spent all day today and will continue tomorrow and the next to recruit as many Shanghainese women as possible with which to surround myself when I go back to the Parkson on Saturday to try to get a refund. It’ll be my own personal army of bee-yotches who, if all goes to planned, nag the store clerks into submission. Stay tuned, I’ll be back to the post the dramatic conclusion in just a few days…
