So after diligently avoiding all web media yesterday as to not be accidentally exposed to the winners of yesterday morning’s 79th Annual Oscar ceremony, I propped myself on the couch after dinner, giddy and anxious for the replay on CCTV-6 to start at 10 pm. Avoiding web media is no easy task for a notorious cubicle slacker as myself, but it was undoubtedly going to pay off handsomely as I would have no knowledge of the outcome while watching all the beautiful men and women troop up and down the Kodak Theatre stage.
At least, that was the plan. Around 10:08 pm, after a string of annoyingly long Chinese commercials, my source who had given me the schedule began to worry out loud. “I don’t think they’re going to show it,” she said. I gasped. She pointed out that at the bottom of the screen, the caption was showing that some weird film discussion show was the upcoming program, NOT the Oscar telecast.
Perhaps sensing panic, she showed me that multiple sites (like here and here) had clearly stated that CCTV-6 was to broadcast the show at 22:00pm. I spent 2 minutes and did a quick calculation in my head. “That’s 10 pm!” I exclaimed. “What’s going on?!”
Why were the Central Chinese TV gods dicking with me like this? After scrambling to whip out the old Pentium-M and somewhat unreliable TVU Player, only to discover that no channel available to me was showing the damn thing, I burst into tears and buried my face into my stuffed TarePanda.
After 14 consecutive years of watching the show, was this how the streak was going to die its fateful death? Would I miss Martin Scorsese’s long overdue coronation because of a CCTV scheduling error? Did I dress up in my best fabric-market ball gown for nothing?
After 15 minutes of sobbing, I heard my mother’s voice in my head, repeating the same thing she always says when I accidentally get food stuck on my cheek: “Eric, is this how a future CEO would behave?” I decided to get my act together, clean up, and accept my fate as a grown-up.
After putting my Oscar-time Barbie doll away, I said to everyone: “Ok, fine. I’m just going to get online and read about the winners. I don’t need the ceremony if it doesn’t need me.” I promptly cried out “woooooooooow” as I read through all the winners, surprises and non-surprises alike.
And then, the biggest surprise of the evening. At 10:30, CCTV-6 suddenly cut to…the red carpet at the Oscars!!! The show would go on after all! Apparently, the TV pricks thought it would be funny to start replaying the start of the ceremony at 10:44 pm. Basically, I had tortured myself for an entire day just to be surprised at the outcome, then when things looked bleak I caved in and updated myself, only to see that my original plan would have worked had I just been able to hold out a bit longer.
Who cares! The streak lives! And for Christmas this year, I’m asking for a Slingbox.
don’t forget it’s me who called CCTV-6 to put up the show for you~~~