I haven’t been out all week, and tonight I’m taking a break from the gym, which gives me the perfect opportunity to blog about the two things that are on my mind right now.
I love my new bike. It’s not so much the bike itself as the concept of the bike. I’ve ridden it twice now, both times to get to and back from the gym, and while it only takes 10 or so minutes each leg, it’s such a soothing experience. I think it’s a combination of feeling eco-friendly, cost-conscious, and very Chinese. To be honest, in my two years here, being on that bike has been the most Chinese I’ve ever felt. Well, maybe a close second to that one time I sold that white guy a duffel bag for 300 RMB and then used the money to buy a pair of pajamas for me to go out strolling in the neighborhood.
“Please get your fat ass off of me!”
The bike itself isn’t the sturdiest thing in the world, and given my abundant girth I’m not sure if I’m destined to ride this baby for very long. Plus, it’s gonna get stolen. Still, I wanted to get it fully equipped, and Keith once told me that it’s not really a China bike until it’s been christened with a basket. I’ve also secured it with a flex lock and a back-tire lock. Now all I need is a name for it, since I name all things I love, like that tapeworm (“Andy”) I had a few years back. Any suggestions would be helpful, but it has to be something totally worthy of its meaning to me. Kind of like…”Bob.” Or “Joe.” You get the picture.
I hate mosquitoes. No, that would be complimenting them. I fucking LOATHE them. Have you ever run into something more universally hated than these little fuckers? Shanghai is overrun with them during the summer, and although we’re entering winter, it seems as if they still like to convene at Casa del Eric and keep me from sleep. The past few nights I’ve had my wonderful of Bob Dole interrupted by buzzing in my ears, followed by itchy bites all over my beautiful body. I end up waking up every few hours, turning on the lights until I see one of them on my wall, then smacking them to oblivion before heading back to sleep, only to repeat this again after an hour because his previously unseen brothers were seeking revenge. These mosquitoes start off being tiny little squibs, and end up being huge black blobs thanks to feasting off my blood the whole night. There’s no more satisfying feeling in the world than smacking the shit out of one and seeing its guts (and your blood) spread out across the wall. And no more dreaded sound than hearing the buzzing after you’ve just smacked one and thought it was safe to go to sleep. In fact, I hear one now. Please excuse me while I hide under the covers and bawl.
Murder scene from 3:34 am this morning
