I walk up towards VIP and as the hostess starts checking the guest list, the two promotion girls start pointing at me and whispering. This is OK, because people whisper about me all the time since I have an oversized head, but then they start giggling and I get a little antsy.
I walk into the club and stand at the entrance. It’s a Wednesday night, but this is the VIP Room, so the place is still pretty crowded and all the tables are full. The men are all pretty GQ and the women are, how should I put this, really really hot. Then, some of them slowly start to turn their heads toward the entrance where I’m standing, and through the misty dry ice I can see that some are shaking their heads, some are chuckling. What the hell is going on,I wonder to myself.
At the table towards the stage I shake hands with people I’ve never met, and the row of ladies sitting by the vodka start cheering and clapping when they see me. I look around to make sure that it’s me they’re laughing at, and when I feel pretty confident that it is me, I take a bow and start pressing my hand against my chest to show my gratitude.
VIP is a fantastic space and there are usually tons of hot women, but the drinks are pretty expensive and the music is terrible, unless you like hard house and break beats and really annoying stage shows with greasy European male dancers. Still, the XS Vodka and currant juice is really tasty, and before long I find myself on stage jumping up and down. People all around me start pointing and staring, and I guess I’m dancing pretty well, at least much better than the clowns on stage, and so I jump up and down even harder.
Finally, I start wearing down and signal to Pearl and Clint that we should head home. After saying bye to Coco next door, I realize that the bouncers are all staring at me and whispering amongst each other. This time, I’m pretty sure that it’s not because I’m a great dancer or because I’m super sexy, and so I stop and ask them what their problem is. They gesture at my clothing, and I look down and realize that I’m dressed like Super Mario. Then, I remember what Jane had said when she saw me waiting in the lobby at Pearl’s apartment.
“So, is that your costume,” she asks. I frown and reply,”Nooooooooo” in that really long, drawn out curl that people use when they seem suspicious of the question.
So, for those of you that think it’s weird that I go to work in blue overalls, a red shirt, and a huge red hat with an “M” on it, all I have to saw to you is: “Bowser Bowser.”
Halloween begins. Happy Trick-or-Treating.
I like mushrooms, so sue me
Chaz Tenenbaum in Shanghai
Haha, man I love your blog!